Title: Living with Depression
Author: Nick Weatherhogg
Year: Published: 19/12/2016
Length: 96 pages
Genre: Self-Help, Health, Nonfiction
Get a copy: 1) Search in local bookstores to support small business 2) Amazon
Short Description: One out of ten people is suffering from depression nowadays. Regardless of the technological progress, we’ve achieved and the comfort we’re living in, we are now more depressed than ever. Even worse, this trend is increasing amongst the present society and the forecast is not promising. Living with Depression by Nick Weatherhogg is an honest, sincere confession by a man suffering from this illness. The insights found inside can be categorized as “how to” guide for fighting depression.
People do not choose to become depressed, but they do choose how they are going to deal with it and what they will do. A range of treatments are available as standard, ranging from medication to talking therapies, but various treatments may be more or less effective than others with different people and in different situations.
It appears that a lot of people, really famous people, people who seemingly have everything, suffer from depression. A large part of the book is dedicated to stories, stories of famous artists, politics, musicians, people who suffered from this illness. Nick Weatherhogg explains how this has negatively affected their lives and what you can do to cure yourself from depression.
The author of the book contacted me and offered me a free book in exchange for a sincere review. To be honest, I was quite skeptical about the book but I wanted to help us much as possible to the author with promoting his book. My worries turned out to be in vain. The book did deliver and it’s surely something a person suffering from depression should read.
Basically, it’s a how-to book: “How to cure yourself from depression.” What pills to take; Different symptoms; Best practices; Stories of other people going through this ache. Obviously, it’s mainly for people who suffer from this condition. Still, there is a lot to be learned even if you’re happy and satisfied with your life: what to avoid doing; what causes depression; famous people that are suffering from it.
Even though this is Nick’s first book, I must say that he’s done a really good job. It’s really short, 96 pages, and you can literally read it for a day.
Living with depression made me think about what I have right now, who I communicate with, what I work, what I possess and helped me realize that I have everything I need. Not that I didn’t know that, but it’s good to think about those things every now and then. It will surely help us appreciate our accomplishments instead of constantly looking for more.
Notes, thoughts, and essential takeaways that I want to remember from the book. My main goal is to leave you with curated content, to which you can easily return to in the future for reference, that’s also holding the main insights of the book without spoiling what the book is all about:
“I Know How You Feel”
When we share unpleasant experiences with someone or someone does the same to us, we often use the following line: “I know how you feel.” A lot of times we really did experienced similar pain in the past, to what our friend is sharing, but we surely can’t know how he/she feels. We’re all different people and we all act differently depending on the situation. Even if we wish, we can’t plug inside our friend’s brain and really feel what he feels. That’s why we can’t really know how someone is feeling.
There are two main reasons people are using this sentence when a close person is sharing his ache:
- To express compassion – We tell this to a friend in order to make him feel that we’re by his side. That he is not alone in this world and to try to lower the impact of his suffering. By telling someone I know how you feel with a clean heart, you want to show you that this is, in a way, normal and that we’re here to help.
- To shift the focus – The other reason people use the above-mentioned sentence is to shift the focus towards themselves. It’s usually used by people who love to talk about themselves and are only waiting for an opportunity to share their grief or to start jabbering about their suffering, their experiences. You can’t expect compassion from these people and it’s best to avoid sharing anything personal with them. Something that is hurting you and you seek help.
The best scenario is only to listen. Listen to what the other person is saying. Don’t tell him that “you know how he feels.” You don’t. Probably your friend doesn’t know how he feels either. What’s left for someone outside of his skin?
Having the courage to share
One of the hardest aspects of living with depression, or other grieves that are more related to emotional pain rather than physical, is simply having the courage to tell other people about it. We feel embarrassed by our feelings and we often keep our pain to ourselves and never tell it to anyone. Being depressed, feeling loneliness, emotional pain tells other people that you’re weak and vulnerable. Something we never want to admit, nor to share with other people. We, humans, are really proud creatures and we tend to show to the world only our positives and never reveal the true pains we go through. That’s why you will find highlights of the best moments of an individual in social media No one will share something that is making him feel weak or insecure.
As a sufferer, this is not the best decision for you to take. Keeping the pain solely to yourself will slowly destroy you from the inside. Depressed people usually don’t know on 100% why they’re depressed. They probably know recognize just a small part of the reason they suffer but can’t pain the whole picture. That’s why, communication is vital. By sharing with someone your pain you both investigate the problem. The other party can give you a different point of view and help you realize something you were missing.
Why am I depressed?
Instead of asking yourself how long you will be depressed. Ask yourself why? Why are you depressed? Is it your job, your spouse, a friend, your financial situation, your mon, your weight? What is the thing that is depressing you?
Sometimes, we deceive ourselves that we’re depressed. Television, commercials, social media, ads we see everywhere, all of those promote the idea that we should live a perfect lifestyle and if even something small is not right, we should buy that special product to fix our issues. This lack of imperfection can make you believe that you should feel bad about yourself. As you can probably guessed it, no one is perfect and no one can actually reach perfection. It’s simply an illusion, a marketing campaign, which everyone is promoting. Still, you need to understand why you’re feeling what you’re feeling.
Happiness doesn’t come from outside things, material things. True happiness can be only be achieved from the inside, from within. For everyone this is different. However, don’t compare yourself to other people or try to fit a frame built by society.
A couple of years ago, I was constantly looking at how other people dress, what they drove and what they work. I was trying to become someone I wasn’t and since I was constantly behind, this made me drink, smoke, become obsessed with material things.
Eventually, after a couple of years of alcoholism, I realized that I didn’t want to live other peoples lives. I wanted something else. I wanted to do, to be, myself. A person with his own goals and ambitions. How did I manage to reach this enlightenment? By asking myself why? Why am I following other people and trying to copy them? The answer was before my eyes: I was looking for the acceptance from other people because I was feeling insecure since I was a teenager. I didn’t believe in myself. I thought that I’m not good enough. Once I started to believe in my skills and my powers, sort to say, I became a much more happier person. I suggest you do the same.
Lack of purpose leads to depression
I have a lot of friends who have beautiful kids, good 9 to 5 jobs, make a decent amount of money, live in nice apartments, but are still bored with life. I can’t say that they are depressed, but they are surely not happy with their lives. They wake up every day thinking that something new and glamorous should happen in their lives. Constantly looking forward towards future events and never living in the present.
A lot of people are like that. Such people hate Monday’s and are basically living their lives for the weekends. Do you know how many days you’re wasting if you’re only existing during Saturday and Sunday? 260 days from 365. Basically, 2/3 of your life is wasted. That’s one of the main reasons people are so depressed. They don’t have something better to do outside of their work. And by better, I surely don’t mean watching television.
Involving yourself in a side project or finding a hobby is your ticket towards happiness and out of depression.
A good reason a lot of people are suffering from this illness is the amount of free time they have. If you aren’t doing anything productive at home or on your job, it’s quite likely you will feel depressed. You simply have a lot of free time and you use it to think about bad things. On contrary, if you’re constantly busy, involve yourself in different events and projects, you will have less time worrying and you will feel much more satisfied with your day.
Bottom line: Involve yourself in more things outside of your normal job. Don’t lock yourself from the world.
Perhaps the most important thing to consider when analyzing failure is your reaction to it. If you embrace failure, you will fail. But the main reason you’re accepting the defeat is not that you failed to do a specific task, is because you’ve lost hope. Hope is what keeps us trying.
There can be a lot of moments in your life that can make you surrender: a loss of a close friend or a family member; being lock away; divorce; being fired from your job; bankruptcy; your house is ruined by a natural disaster. A person who is overweight, trying to lose some kilos, can easily lose hope after only a few weeks of training. The lack of results, in the beginning, feels horrible but that’s part of the process. Professional athletes trained for years till they were able to show off with their perfectly structured bodies. Why do you expect that you can get a six-pack for a week?
Every few weeks I feel like giving up posting on this site. I don’t see a lot of visitors coming in but I’ve been only posting for a year (while I’m writing this). I know that other sites struggled for years till they got a reasonable amount of traffic that can help them call themselves a business. Nevertheless, I feel that I’m wasting my time sometimes, and it feels horrible. The same applies to my workouts. I didn’t see results for several months but I kept training. Now, I can see my body slowly improving and it makes me feel good.
When I’m about to give up, I do these things instead:
- I remind myself that if I want to become better, I need to work daily. Pyramids were not built for a day, nor influential companies. I took time. Lots of time. Its absurd to think that I can achieve something valuable for a short period of time.
- I take a break. For an hour. For a day. For a week. A lot of times people quit. Abandoned projects people, marriages. Instead, try taking a break first. Work can quickly overload you. Still, don’t quit. Don’t even think about quitting. Take a break and clear your head. It will help you realize that you’re not wasting your time and that there is a reason you’re doing what you’re doing.
I hope these two will help you stay on track.
What do you do when you fall down? You get back up. Everyone knows that you get back up… But I’m going to tell you there are sometimes in life when you feel that you don’t have the strength to get back up… I just want to ask you, do you have hope?… I will try one hundred times to get back up, and if I fail one hundred times, if I fail and I give up, do you think I am ever going to get up? No. But if I fail and I try again, and again and again, there is always that chance that I’m going to get up. And it’s not the end until you have given up.” Nick Vujicic
Get A Copy:
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