Motivation Sucks – You Have to Really Want it

Every morning is the same thing. My alarm goes on, so I can get up and go for a run. I stop it and tell myself that I will get up in 5 minutes. The second time it rings, I start to rethink the whole idea of getting up. “Do I really want to go for a run or should I leave this task for tomorrow?”

I thought that I should really write an article on motivation. Why? Well because I’ve read, watched, heard tons of the other articles on motivation and I think they really suck. Yeah, that’s right –  “YouTube motivational videos category, you suck!”

During the age of 17 and 25, I was a smoker. I wasn’t the kind of smoker who will finish a pack of cigarettes for a day but still, I was addicted to that shit. I have a chronic lung disease, I knew it back then and I still smoked. “Wow, that’s some badass move you jerk” – that’s my thought now about my old self when I think about it.

I probably tried quitting that nasty habit every 3 months. I tried all kind of stuff and techniques to quit – chewing gums, keeping my hands occupied, eating more, reading books about quitting, I held a ribbing on my hand and pulled it when felt I wanted to smoke, I even avoided going out with my friends to stop.

Nothing really worked. I knew that this stuff is probably slowly killing me. “Well duh, it’s written on the pack, captain obvious.” Still, after only a few days of success, I again ended up lighting that nasty white piece of paper stuffed with intoxicating herbs which brought me back to the starting position.

Even though I tried quitting, deep down I didn’t really want to quit. I loved smoking, especially when I was out drinking with friends. Inside my mind, I looked cooler, sexier when I was smoking and yes, the taste of that cigarette felt amazing. Until the day after. When I woke up coughing and spitting all over the place.


Do We Really Lack Motivation?

Do we really lack motivation or we lack real desire to change in a positive direction?

Let’s take for example a person who is heavily overweight, do you think he knows that he is, well, fat? Of course, he knows. He knows because he is barely fitting in his jeans, he gets nasty looks from strangers everywhere he goes, he sees his reflection in the mirror, he eats 5 burgers and he is still hungry. Do you think that watching motivational videos, reading self-help books will help this guy lose weight? Hell no!

As long as he doesn’t get on his feet and he doesn’t start doing something about his weight, every single day, he will never overcome the looks people are throwing at him when he goes, well, everywhere. Until that person decides that he is going to change, nothing else matters.

Yes, it does sound harsh but that’s the real truth.


You Can Do It

We are surrounded by motivational quotes, videos, posts, stories, movies. The self-help industry is really rising. And why it should be? The century we live in indeed offers countless opportunities – we can open an online store, invent an app, start a blog, write books in the comfort of our homes.

Why then so few of us are really successful?

Primarily, because we are lazy, easily distracted and prefer to watch every show on Netflix when we have a spare moment. The things that can help us become successful and reach new heights are also the things that are stopping us from doing so. We choose the easy path day after day. We choose to get up and spend an hour scrolling down our Facebook, Twitter or whatever news feed. We choose to use the Internet for watching funny memes, videos and things that can only waste our time.

You can do it industry offers some really valuable insights, tools, and steps that can really help us reach the next level. Still, all this knowledge will stay only a well-written book if you don’t do anything with it.

Often I get caught up watching motivational videos for more than an hour. Even though some of them are really inspirational, only watching them will waste your time. When we are reading a good self-help book we stay in the comfort zone, we agree with the author, start feeling better about ourselves and the end we say to ourselves that we will really make some changes and start working towards our goals. However, we rarely really do that.


Don’t you Know What is Holding You Back?

Think about it for a sec – do you really don’t know what is standing between you and a happy, successful life?

I am sure you do know. We all are rational people and we can all evaluate our daily actions. We simply don’t want to admit them.

Here is a list of the most common things that are keeping us away from our dreams:

Being lazy – Lack of real desire to do the stuff we know we should do. For me, laziness is like a sickness. This is probably the nastiest habit you can adopt. Laziness can come in many forms – oversleeping, lack of real goals, obesity, procrastination, spending too much time on social media, smoking, drinking,

Job – Our current job can be devastating to our lives. Since we spend 1/3 of our lives in the office, we should really choose wisely where that office is. If the job you do doesn’t offer relatively calm atmosphere, sane people, good salary and any future advantages, rethink why you are still at this position.

Spouse and Friends – Your partner and your friends can be the ones who are keeping you away from your dreams. If you want to live a healthier life and if you go out with people who drink, smoke and eat crappy food all the time it will be at least 10 times harder for you to stop doing all of the above and live a healthier life.

Yes, I know what you might be thinking – “You are saying to quit my job but you don’t really know me. I have 2 kids, wife and a house and I can’t afford to quit my job.” Yes, I don’t know you but I didn’t say that it’s going to be easy. It never is.


Motivation Sucks

Motivation helps when we are not quite sure what we want from life, when we feel depressed when we are feeling down and we need a little push towards the right direction. Yes, in these cases we can get a boost by watching Sylvester Stallone speaking about life.

However, motivation sucks. It sucks big time if we solely rely on it.

You won’t achieve anything unless you truly want it. You have to want it with all your heart, body, mind. And yes, It will be hard, harder than you think. The hardest part is to fight against our own mind, choosing the easy way:

  • If you want to quit smoking, every time you see a friend smoking your mind will tell your mouth to ask him for a cigarette.
  • If you want to exercise, every morning your mind will tell your body to stay down and leave it for tomorrow.
  • If you are trying to lose weight, every time you walk across the fridge or the store you will be tempted to enter it, purchase a chocolate, chips and a coke.
  • If you want to build an online business, every second you spend in front of your computer your mind will tell you to check Facebook and Twitter.

Fighting against these thoughts is really hard and requires a lot of commitment and determination. It doesn’t matter how many motivational books, videos or people you’ve listened, read in your life. The only thing that matters is how bad you want to achieve that particular thing.

Back to my smoking habit, which actually was a drinking habit:

I woke up one morning after another crazy night out. I didn’t remember much, like most of the times. Checked my phone and I realized that my current girlfriend hated me for the things I’ve done (don’t remember them), again. I couldn’t stand looking myself in the mirror. I felt miserable. At that moment I said to myself that I will no longer smoke and I will quit drinking.

Since then I no longer smoke and I hardly drink. Yes, this time I really, really wanted it and nothing else mattered.


To Recap

You can subscribe to a top of articles on motivation, watch videos online, hire a personal coach to get your ass off the ground. You will surely see results. Still, if you don’t really want it, that won’t last long.

You will soon start to procrastinate and end up doing the things you’ve always done before.

Motivation is your short-term friend, real desire is you long-term one.

Unless you actually want to do things differently you will never do them. The desire to change a certain aspect of your life often comes after you hit rock bottom.

Now, write down the things you want to change in your life. Right next to these things write down what you need to do to accomplish them.

After seeing what is required, how many of the things in the first list are still present?

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