Title: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck
Author: Mark Manson
Length: 224 pages
Genre: Self-help, Happiness
Short Description: If you give a fuck about everything, you are either stupid or you already on antidepressants. This book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, will help you learn how to care about less, but more meaningful stuff. At the end, that’s the secret to happiness.
Get a copy: 1) Search in local bookstores to support small business 2) Amazon
Don’t be special, don’t be unique, don’t find yourself, be uncertain, embrace failure. Words that you definitely won’t see in most self-help books. No, it’s not depressing or anti motivation book with a lot of cursing, quite the contrary, except of the F word.
Everybody in the self-help industry is saying that you have to constantly be positive to achieve greatness. “Fuck that shit”, Mr. Mansons says. Honesty, is the first thing you have to adopt if success and a happy life is what you aim for. Honesty towards your friends, family, significant other and most importantly to yourself and who you are.
I am a vivid reader of Mark Manson’s blog. If you haven’t read any of his articles, you should definitely do it by visiting his site: MarkManson.net. When he announced his book I was quite excited to get it and read it. Finally, I’ve done it.
If this is your first interaction with his work, you can tell from the title, that he doesn’t give a fuck about what you will think about him, which is what I really like about his writing. He is quite honest and he openly expresses his thoughts without hiding them behind fancy, censored words like most authors do.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, is a practical self-help book that reveals a different perspective about what to give a fuck about in life. In addition to the useful information outlined by interesting real life examples, you are getting a ticket to the front row of Manson’s life experiences. How he became what he is now, what struggles and obstacles he overcame. What values you really need to feel happier and more fulfilled life.
The book highlights things that very few authors dare to talk about. You will either hate it or love it, but you won’t be able to ignore it.
Here are some of the most insightful things I would really like to remember from this book:
Being Wrong Matters
What’s the point of always being right? You won’t learn anything new. If you are constantly right, or you think you are, you’re blocking your mind from learning something new, or you are simply afraid of facing the facts, which in most of the cases are: you are fucking wrong most of the time.
Few hundred years ago we thought that the Earth was flat. In the 1800s Sigmund Freud argued that clitoral orgasms were signs of mental illness. When I was a little boy I thought that tomatoes are poisonous (because they are red).
Being wrong plays a huge role in our lives daily. Even if you are right for one thing, the chances you are wrong about other 5, are extremely high. We are simply afraid to admit it. In most of the cases, our ego tells us not to confess.
Our mistakes help us grow and change in a positive direction. However, this is only true if we take the time to observe the reason for the failure and take notes so we can avoid similar situations. Basically, embrace the failure and grow a desire to become a better person. Blindly failing at tasks again and again won’t magically complete them or help you accomplish them better the next time. You need to actually want it. Each failure is an opportunity to learn something new and exciting. Something, that might transform your life and direct it into in a positive path.
You can be truly successful only if you are willing to fail at it thousand of times.
If someone is better than you at something, then it’s likely because he has failed at it more than you have.” Mark Manson
I hate when people are not taking responsibility for their own lives. Mark makes a great point in his book about why you necessarily need to stop playing a victim all the time and start being a responsible human being.
Most of the time I hear these words coming out of the people around me: “It’s not my fault”; “Someone else put these things here”; “I grew up in the wrong neighborhood”; “My parents didn’t have enough money to send me to college”; “This is not part of my job”; “I was too lazy doing [something meaningful]”;”He is rich because of his parents”.
I know a lot of people who are still mainly counting on their parents for money or for a place to live. Of course, most of them are living their lives as if they are highly successful and they achieved everything on their own. People who are constantly delaying their bills, hiding in clubs and bars and are afraid to grow up or to have a meaningful relationship. Instead of settling with a partner, I know too many people who are chasing different girl every night. They try to prove themselves and others, that they are sexy, good looking, liked by everyone around. I know, because I was the same person before.
Sitting and waiting for something good to happen is probably the dumbest idea you might ever come up with.
Often people are too scared or lazy to do something better with their lives. They wait for A to happen first, so they can start working on B, which supposedly is their goal for ultimate happiness. “I will first graduate and I will look for a job later”; “I must first lose 10 kilos to ask Jenny to go out on a date with me” “I must first come with brilliant, groundbreaking idea in order to start a business.”
“I will first graduate and I will look for a job later”; “I must first lose 10 kilos to ask Jenny to go out on a date with me” “I must first come with brilliant, groundbreaking idea in order to start a business”; “I have to buy a new laptop and then start online venture”.
Great authors don’t wait for their muse in order to start writing, they simply sit on their but holes and execute daily, regardless. World famous athletes surely want a bit more sleep, still, they are following a strict schedule full of exercises and meals they don’t really love eating.
If you want to achieve something, anything, you must execute daily, regardless of your emotional, financial or physical condition. Life, people, your boss don’t give a shit about how you feel today. You may have a fever or a breast cancer, but that won’t save you from bird pooping on your head or a robber stealing your purse.
Satisfaction from Less
What if I tell you, that you will be more satisfied with your choice if you have the opportunity to pick from only two type of sauces, apartments, cars for pretty much everything. “This one smells better” or “It’s not the perfect place, but it’s better from the other one I saw earlier”.
Living in the 21st century comes with its perks but also with its downsides. We get to choose from millions of different products, opportunities, people to fell in love with, still, immediatelly after we buy something, or start dating someone, we think to ourselves: “I had to buy the other pair of shoes #sadface”.
Living in a small apartment, with few clothes and only the essentials, is a sign of poverty nowadays. At least, this is what the society says. We are constantly bombarded by notifications about the latest trip, the newest watch, phone, pair of jeans, our friends bought.
However, the real question here is: “Do you really need a new pair of jeans, or you are only trying to impress others. Ones you don’t really like or enjoy talking to?”
Play With what you got
Our lives can easily be likened as a game of cards. We get certain cards. Some of us get better cards than others. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you will win the “game”.
For example, you may grow up without parents, in a shelter, and still, outperform most of the people in the industry in which you are developing. Like J. R. R. Tolkien, or these guys: Celebrities who were orphaned as children. In the case of the people you will see in the previous link, life is throwing a lot of shit to these people. It takes a lot of guts, character, and something I cannot know to achieve such greatness and world wide success without the advantage of having a loving family.
On the other hand, we have people who have pretty much everything even before they were born, fed with a silver spoon and countless opportunities just waiting for them. We all know different stories about spoiled rich kids who unfortunately end up overdosed in a dark alley.
Whats the main difference between these two? The choices they’ve made during their lifetime.
Get A Copy:
- Local Bookstore: Search in a near local bookstore to support small business.